Life…

I don’t really know if the thrill of life will ever go away for me…

I truly enjoy the trials and tribulation… the knowledge and wisdom that comes from getting older every day. Like the other day I found out that drinking straight out of the milk jug is considered “un-classy”, … that being broke and alone tend to go hand in hand, or that just because her ex-boyfriend had a nose candy habit doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love him… that when you get up in the morning and go to work, things tend to take care of themselves somehow…

I’m in a weird place in life right now… I no long live alone, and I no longer have a woman in my life… it’s been about 3 1/2 years since I’ve been in this situation… it’s really not so bad. I get up after however many times I hit the snooze button, I go to a job that challenges me and forces me to learn new ways to overcome problems, I come home, I eat, I sleep, and that’s about it.

Woo hoo fun…

Its not that I want something else… it’s more that I feel like I should be somewhere else. I should have sold out to the man after I graduated with my B.S. degree, and threw any regard for my principals and beliefs and cut off my hair and joined the happy masses of corporate america at a nice desk job where everyone wears shiny uncomfortable shoes and stinks of menthols and Binaca. I should have forgiven my ex and professed my undying love for her for after fucking the guy that I was working with and made a happy life with her after she graduated from college.

 

I should have just stayed in “Home” and lived in the house that I still attempt to own, and got a job doing bitch work for some guy who never brushes his 5 teeth and never combs the 2 patches of hair he has left with a 4th grade vocabulary and always repeats what you say. I should have sold everything I owned, found someone to take care of my cats for a few years, and just hit the road… just…. go… But, I didn’t I have no love for hoes… my whole goal in life right now is to get myself in a position where I can own my own house here in my “Tropical State” and get a new car some time between now and then. Sounds easy… but its going to take me a lot of time… and time is something that has been creeping by so fucking slow this whole year.

This year I’ve already been on 6 road trips, been through 2 cars, met 5 new girls, had 4 jobs, had 3 addresses, and gained and lost 10 pounds. I really haven’t lived as much in the last 3 years as I have in the past 6 months… it’s been a rough ride though… but overall, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve learned a lot about myself and even more about life and the cosmic forces that are undeniably at work that remain completely out of my control. What used to be such a big deal to me, no longer even upsets me. What used to make me happy, had faded away and has been replaced with a reality that what someone else can give, someone else can take away. I haven’t found my way yet… but I’m having some fun off-roading.

To each his own.

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