Its GOTTA Be The Hair!

I’ve always taken to the art of human interaction with a scientific approach. I’ve tried everything from trial and error, to blind theory. I have come to realize what every man must in the course of his life… you will NEVER figure out women. I’ve been here in ohio for about a week and a half and I’ve really been studying my surroundings. It’s amazing what you can learn if you have the capacity to step away from your own self… your own urges and desires, and see what kind of a person you yourself really are. I have a good example… at bar number 2 and drinks 3,4, and 5… and 6… (mmm Yager bombs) there was this delicious lil bartender at good ole BW3’s that was flashing her cute smile all over the bar and it landed on me… In my head I had considered making one of my feeble attempts to flirt… but even half cocked

I stopped and thought to myself…

there is no way in hell this girl is single.

Think about it…

she has her pick of the litter and the litter really isn’t all that big round hea un nowheretucky midwestia.

She’s hot, she works in the public eye at the only place open after 11pm that doesn’t require a firearm, and she probably makes good money too.

Its Gotta Be the Hair!…

-sigh-

 

perhaps we all want what we can’t have…

but sure enough… some of her friends were sitting next to lil ole me at the bar when someone threw out the mention that “…when did you go and get married?” the hot bartender didn’t really smile or anything, she just acknowledged that it was true.

Damn I hate being right all the time.

Which is kind of what I’m getting at…

Living in the moment is like grabbing at a dangling string…

you aren’t thinking about whats at the end of the string, nor the conscequences that result if you actually grasp it and hang on… all your worried about it right here…

right now…

women live like that.

Women tend to have that luxury of making mistakes and being easily forgiven much more so than most guys I know. Perhaps this is where I am flawed, I take intimacy with someone to a level that

No One Else Seems To.

I mean sure, I’m plenty capable of having fun with a girl and no strings and all that, yet here I am contemplating on what it is that I really need from a girl before I’d be willing to commit again. I’d rather have a girl to belong to, someone I can trust, someone that loves me despite myself, and to love her for everything she is and everything she is NOT.

I want my bitches tail to wag when she hasn’t seen me in a day or two, and I never want to lose that magic. Yet here I am, open to anything that remotely relieves the lonliness. Strangely enough the last time I got laid, I’d never felt more alone. I was kinda drunk and she was too. I have to admit her assertiveness is a HUGE turn on, but…

er..

I will spare the details, basically she got up and left after she got what she came for.

Even though it .. hm… in a nutshell… I really didn’t want to be alone all night again.

Just having her there next to me was way better than… the.. details… I dunno man… I called her up not really expecting anything, just wanted some female attention ya know?

even if it doesn’t end up with used condoms.

I was having a good time at the movie, hehe, have you ever went to a movie and heard the sound of an empty beer can rolling down the isles? haha well that was me that night. but when she left like immediately after… uh…. “giving up on me”, I felt more empty than the used condom I opened my eyes too first thing in the fuckin morning.

I like her don’t get me wrong, but I want something that I’m not getting from her… I notice all the guys that seem to get laid a lot or have hot and cool girlfriends have something in common. Little or no hair. I’ve had many a girls try to talk me into doing something crazy drastic with my hair… I think you can tell how that turned out.

-grin-

Part of me wants to be like the rest of these fucks out there, just a selfish piece of shit with no regard for anyone but myself, but man… you just can’t fake yourself out and get away with it. At least the so-called relationships that I have with a few girls is honest and open, I’m not going to try to kid myself or anyone else… The long hair thing… it’s such a HUGE issue.

You have any idea how much easier it would be if I just cut the shit off? I could fit right in with the rest of the fuckin lemmings and get a better job and get a cute lil superficial bitch to hang on my arm, have a coke and smile. I’ve thought about it… I really have. But I want it to be on my terms, with or without the hair, I’m still Justin, I’m still going to be the same guy, so why not just cut it? Because I’m still the same muffucker either way, and I like the mop, so kiss my fuckin ass if you don’t like my style.

HA…

Happy fuckin New Years.

 

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