There are many elements of my life that I have often regarded as “good”. Using the generic term of “good” leads most to thing of things like chocolate, strawberry, model-like figure, pretty, fancy, high-quality, orgasms, fast, durable, fun, long, tall, beautiful, and otherwise. “Good” can mean a lot of things… and as I’m sure you have discovered by now… “good” may eventually change to “bad”, and vice versa.

How you say?

Think about this…

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Remember the first puff you took?

Fuuuuuuckin’ disgusting. Ew. Gag, Yuck, Barf, Why do people do this? etc etc.

That was my first thought anyway.

Over time, we develop a habit, a crutch if you will… for whatever reason. Maybe you are stressed out and after you got through the first 3 or 4 disgusting tasting smokes, or perhaps found a brand that you liked (or hated LESS), you find that smoking has a calming effect on your nerves, and you are able to return to your day without wanting to jump through a 15-story window head first… but you still leave it as a possibility in the near future if shit gets ANY worse…

So… did that cigarette you just had REALLY serve a purpose? Did it REALLY make things all better? Did it solve ANY of your problems?

Obviously….. not.

And for those who may feel otherwise, consider that what the cigarette did was make you FEEL a little better about the ENVIRONMENT that you currently occupy. Is that SOMETHING? Sure it. But I’m taking a position on a more global, fundamental scale here. That cigarette isn’t making your environment any better at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

What it takes to TRULY change things, is not just a temporary effort to make “right now” SEEM better, but a PROCESS that ALLOWS for something ELSE to become the norm. A BETTER scenario can and will become a reality if we should choose to implement a strategy that requires a new and improved approach.

What happens after awhile when you put a few 1000 miles on your car? The car starts to sound a little different, maybe it doesn’t start up the same way, or maybe it drives differently, perhaps STOPS different, typically cars don’t run BETTER when this change happens. After a lot of “wear and tear” through a redundant process of starting and moving and stopping, things start to need replaced. Oil needs changed, filters need replaced, spark plugs, fuel pumps, water pumps, brake pads, timing belts, all kinds of things wear out eventually by repeating the same activities over and over again.

Sound familiar?

The Human Body is a far more complex system than any automobile (Although you may disagree if you’ve ever tried to replace a clutch in a 2002 Volkswagen), yet the body has similar needs. Food and drink for fuel, regular washes to maintain aesthetic appeal, fluid changes to keep systems functioning properly (with the CORRECT types of fluid!), ok ok ok, you get the idea. The point is, you need to to know how to take care of yourself (and each other) much like you do with a car.

So why does it seem like such a difficult concept to gasp when you consider that everyday we leave that pile of laundry undone, or stretch times out between meals, not exercising, even waiting to vacuum the floors or do the dishes, all these things are “habits” that ultimately put our “systems” at risk for failure or adversity.

Trust me. I’m guilty of all the above RIGHT NOW as I type this.

That’s got to stop.

Not small, little changes, but HUGE, MASSIVE TRANSFORMATIONS of what my life is to become are long LONG Overdue.

The first idea of making huge changes, is doing something drastic. Do something that will cause a RADICAL shift in everyday activities. Sure, that’s great, and that will surely get A result, but will it get THE results that you want?

Hm.

All in all, I’m really not doing all that badly from a general perspective. I’ve got my little apartment IN Downtown, I’ve got awesome cats, the BEST friends that ANYONE could EVER ask for, 2 Cars, A 3.5 GPA towards my Masters Degree, A job that’s kind of fun (sometimes), and lots of hobbies and interests.

However…

I get down on myself for not being more financially stable. I don’t think that I should be worried about where the rent is coming from every month, or have bill collectors programmed into my phone under the name “NO!”, constantly wondering if my car is going to be outside still when I leave for work. Or how about the fact that I’m a 29 year old Pizza Man with a Bachelor of Science Degree? It’s not that I haven’t TRIED to change these things in my life… in fact, I’ve tried quite a few times, with doing the cable guy thing, the boiler guy thing, the GIS guy thing, all kinds of “things”…. apparently, not the RIGHT things though.

I saw a terrific quote earlier this evening:

“you’ll never leave where u are, until u decide where you’d rather be”

“You’ll never leave where you are, until you decide where you’d rather be.” – Angela Brown Oberer

Do you ever get that “click” feeling? Like, “ooooooooooooh, NOW I GET IT!”

Maharishi wrote in Transcendental Meditation that the mind can only hold one thought at any given single moment. When we get overwhelmed with our lives, often it is the result of thinking about 100s of things over and over in a cycle, yet we still have but one thought, at any one moment.

I spend SOOOOO much of my time thinking about where I AM, and not where I want to BE. I think about all the car drama I’ve been through lately, all the work drama that is PERPETUAL in the restaurant/service business, the LACK of drama from my LACK of desire to date…

I have so many great things going for me, but I just can’t seem to develop a true vision of what it is that I WANT my life to look like. I’m a fairly observant person, and I notice when other people are having an experience similar to mine, or perhaps one that I’ve already been through. What I find is, most people are right there with me, unable to shake the past slime-like goo that sludge up their avenues of possibility because they are so hung up on something that cannot be changed, only repeated or avoided. I’m all for knowing what NOT to do, but what about knowing the RIGHT things to do, and WHEN to do them?

Yes, it’s true I may have my Masters Degree in less than a year, but what does that matter if I continue thinking the same way I do today? I’ve been told COUNTLESS times that I’m wasting myself on jobs that don’t gratify me, or offer me the challenge I need to stay interested. Funny how people seem to know me so well, haha, but that is partially true… I do feel like I am capable of much much more. My crazy hippy side wants to develop a “true” green fuel cell, powered by solar, wind, hydrogen and/or geothermal energy (possibly kinetic feedback as well), but the truth is, I’ve ALWAYS thought on such a large scale at just about every major project I took upon myself.

I do have some serious ambition… yet why am I still broke and scraping to get by?

Because I never left a place that I made for myself, happy to just be alive, but miserable because I’ve not been capable of manifesting my own future reality.

It’s about time I got the vision, it’s about time you did it too. It’s about time we all stop making excuses like “I’m too busy” or “After this is over, then maybe” and my personal favorite, “One Day…”

That day is now,

and it’s Long Overdue.

See you at the top.

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